Zane Openshaw: May 2018

Wow, this week flew by! It was a week full of random little moments
that I consider worth writing about, so here goes it. (The paragraphs
are only loosely connected, so just read what sounds interesting)

The mysterious fire:
On Thursday night we were overnighting in Greifswald with some other
Elders. At around 2am another Elder and I awoke in fright to a super
strong smell of smoke. He ran in the kitchen to check if it was coming
from there while I looked around the room we were in. He came back and
we realized that it was coming from outside. A bit unsettled, we went
back to bed.
The next morning we woke up early to go and play basketball at a court
in the neighborhood. At the basketball court we noticed the remains of
a car in the parking lot that had been completely burned! The fire was
so hot that it had melted the parking lot and burned a lot of leaves
on a tree standing about 30 feet away from the car. We were happy to
have found the source of the mysterious fire and we hope that the poor
Swiss family can figure out a way to enjoy their vacation without the
trusty family car.

The mysterious bleeding hand (1/2):
Shortly after discovering the car, we were into an intense game of 2
on 2. I was defending elder Griffin and had a hand on his back after
he received a pass. I took my hand away as he received the pass and
was surprised the see a bloody handprint on the back of his white
shirt.
I was even more surprised to look down and see that my hand was
covered in blood... my blood!
Although the court looked like a murder scene, I had only a tiny cut
on my palm. Imagine the scene... burnt out car in the parking lot,
blood all over an outdoor basketball court, and four Mormon
missionaries. We departed speedily.

Train etiquette:
After Greifswald, we headed to Freiberg to meet some members of the
branch at the temple. On our way down to Freiberg, we had a ticket for
only slow-speed regional trains, which meant that our journey would
take 6 hours and we would be accompanied by many other cheap
travelers. We experienced quite a few great moments in our 12 hours of
train travel this weekend.
Train etiquette is something that I'm still getting used to. It's a
complicated thing, riding with 200 other people (German or otherwise)
in a moving metal tube. Sometimes you can ride your whole journey in
peace and without incident. But more often than not, you will say or
do something that will cause the entire train to turn around and stare
at you. At that point, you have no other choice but to lean back and
fake sleep in order to avoid being disintegrated in embarrassment.

The smelly couple and other fellow travelers:
Although most Germans seem aware of their own "Train etiquette," there
is a portion of the population that (intentionally or not) is
completely ignorant of it. We witnessed many such a person on our long
journey this week. The most impressively ignorant was "the smelly
couple." Now before you react poorly, let me inform you that they gave
this nickname to themselves long before I had the opportunity to smell
them.
(Random tangent: we count things 'per head,' Germans count things 'per nose')
This was a nice granola couple with impressive dreadlocks and shaggy
organic clothes. They entered our crowded train and quickly realized
that they wouldn't be able to sit together. They found two seats that
were across the aisle from each other and claimed them, the young man
sitting directly behind me. The young man sat down next to a
clean-cut, middle-aged German business man. Separated from his young
love, he panicked. He sat down sideways on his seat, sandaled feet
hanging out in the aisle (train etiquette violation #1). Because of
his sideways position, his dreadlocked hair found its way onto the lap
of the orderly german business man next to him.
The rest of the train was already staring at this point, trying their
best to disintegrate the young couple. But the travesty of train
etiquette continued. The staring crowd watched the unease of the clean
cut business man grow by the minute. He started to realize that he was
in for the long haul, caught in his window-seat dreadlock prison.
Accepting his fate, he closed his eyes to try to sleep. A german
business man will not be so easily driven from his coveted window
seat. A short time later he awoke suddenly as his dreadlocked seat
partner had fallen into his lap due to the twisty track. The business
man quickly stood and retreated to the bathroom. In his absence, the
young woman started giving the young man a foot rub across the aisle.
Enjoying his foot rub, the young man lay himself down on he seat of
the absent business man, right on top of the business man's coat.
This was the final straw, the business man came back, grabbed his coat
and literally sprinted away to find a new seat haha.
The young woman moved over to that seat and they celebrated their
victory by making out for the rest of their ride. My companion and I
were only slightly jealous and uncomfortable.

My names:
I always wondered how Germans would pronounce my name and this week I
enjoyed several different variations. My personal favorite was as I
was doing confirmations in the temple with a member of the branch. He
wasn't wearing his glasses and could hardly read anything but he would
proclaim so confidently "Bruder Opendorf!" We were all trying so hard
not to laugh but then his wife started laughing and we just couldn't
hold back. The temple recorder was appalled but we just couldn't help
it 😂
So in case you're wondering what Openshaw sounds like in german, take
your pick from this nice list from the week: Obenschaw, Opendorf,
Offenheimer, Opershow, Openshow, Obenshow, etc., etc.

Tobacco at church:
At stake conference this Sunday we got to hear a talk from Elder
Sabin, one of my favorite speakers ever. His talk was being live
translated into German and sadly some of his best points didn't come
across right through the translation.
One of my favorite parts of his talk was when he asked us, "what would
it be like if all of your sins had a smell?" He asked if we would
still come to church, if we would try our best to wash away the smell.
He then said, "I like to smell the a subtle smell of tobacco at church
because it means someone is trying. They shouldn't be ashamed to come
to church and be healed through the sacrament."
The translator translated that part of the talk to say, "we should
shame when they come to church..." 😂 luckily they corrected it on the
spot, but sometimes I wonder if that is the attitude we may have at
church.
Do we feel ashamed of ourselves or shamed by others to come to church
without being perfect? Do we judge what others are wearing or what
sins they smell like? I hope that we can follow the teaching of Jesus
and find the beams in our own eyes and not worry about motes in the
eyes of others. If sins had a smell, we would all smell bad. I'm just
grateful to know that it doesn't have to stay that way forever.

Well, that turned into quite the long email. Hopefully it's good
enough for the loyal fans, don't be afraid to write back 😂

Love you!

Elder Opendorf

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Sister Franz takes over

Monday, May 21, 2018

Short Stories